It seems self-evident that truth is good. So it’s important to recognise that what’s untrue might be even more desirable.
Some things are true… but have absolutely no use to me. Other things are untrue (or at least unproven, and likely untrue) but are some of the most powerful thoughts I can have.
For me, this is most obvious in the liminal spaces where we can’t know the truth of a situation.
Occam’s Razor says that where multiple scientific explanations fit it makes sense to choose the simplest one. For ‘everyday truth’, I’d say that where multiple explanations are possible it makes sense to choose the most useful one.
I like to pick the most desirable option, and act ‘as if’ it’s true even while I know that it’s totally unproven.
Here’s someone charging past you in the street, bumping you so hard they almost send you flying. And they carry on without so much as a backwards glance — let alone an apology.
Your first instinct is probably to label them rude. Possibly flat out antisocial. But what if they were rushing to the hospital because their wife has just been in a serious accident? This might well be unlikely, but how much nicer to give them the benefit of the doubt.
Of course, there’s a whole spectrum of potential ‘excuses’ from the totally understandable situation above to more borderline ones. But why not pick an interpretation that’s as far out on the curve as you can imagine? Surely it’s better to extend compassion in that way than to mutely accept our instinctive response of assuming zero mitigating factors.
It’s important to note that I’m never saying that I know the answer when I pick one possibility out of a multitude in this way.
I’m not that arrogant.
What I am saying is that I have a choice of what to believe in this moment — and I get to select the most useful angle for me.
So none of this is irreversible. At no point am I foreclosing on the truth.
If the situation changes significantly I’m free to start again and reevaluate what I take to be true. It’s merely that, for now, I’ve decided that adopting this “truth” best fits my valuas and is likely to result in the behaviours I want to show in the future.
What does it mean to be ‘most useful’?
You get to decide. For me, it’s often what allows me to be calm, happy, and compassionate to others.
I think assuming the best like this is the superior response — but you have to make a deliberate effort to take this path. If you merely let your thoughts and feelings flow where they will then you’ll typically experience one of two common reactions.
The first common reaction is to assume the worst case. This is your evolutionary brain jumping in to protect you from catastrophe.
It’s a great reaction when there are potentially very serious consequences — but in the modern world it mostly leads to poor responses. Instead, have the courage to admit to yourself that you don’t know what the true answer is… And then to pick a ‘truth’ that you’re going to run with anyway — based not on fear of negative, but hope for the positive.
The second common reaction is to acknowledge that we can’t know the truth — and therefore refuse to assume anything at all.
There’s nothing wrong with this in theory but, in practice, it often causes us to withdraw from the situation and act coldly. Choosing to assume a single ‘positive’ truth typically leads to to much ‘kinder’ responses. ‘Hiding’ behind the fact that we can’t know prioritises “capital T” truth over compassion.
Objectively, there’s only one ‘real’ truth out there. but, in a world where we inevitably spend the majority of the time lacking most of the facts, any one of a million different ‘truths’ is possible. What possible excuse do I have to abdicate responsibility for which ‘truth’ influences my behaviour? Instead I choose to make a choice.
What if it turns out not to be true? Who cares!
You’ve got to have the courage to accept that you might get it wrong. This is not a search for the ultimate truth. Rather it’s to improve my own actions — and ultimately, my wellbeing and the wellbeing of others. And that is a valid goal in itself.
There’s nothing that gets my back up more than people going around spouting falsehoods designed to deceive or manipulate. Yet there are many times when a thought or perspective that’s likely ‘untrue’ is the most generous and compassionate choice.
So I’m totally fine with believing whatever I like even when it’s unproven. As long as I can see that it’s not patently false, the only further questions I ask myself about my ‘belief’ are: “Is it useful?”; and “Does it help or harm others?”