Somewhere in the last few years I fell out of love with my business.
There had always been tasks I didn’t feel like doing. Always times when I was anxious and worried about whether things would work out.
This was different.
But when I first noticed things felt ‘off’ — more of a fundamental and constant dissatisfaction — I couldn’t immediately identify a root cause. Eventually, I realised that there was something fundamental that lay beneath all my seemingly disconnected gripes with Play In The Zone.
Even during the earlier tough times I was interested in the process. I loved learning how to do things better. Even though I wanted the eventual outcome I didn’t want to miss the journey it took to get there.
But now I’m not enjoying the process anymore. I’ve lost the desire to overcome the challenge of making a business work. And I don’t care anything like enough about helping people through my teaching (sure, I want to help them. And it still moves me greatly when they share their success stories. But it’s no longer the intense fire inside me that it used to be).
It’s become a means to an end. The business holds little joy in and of itself any more. It’s merely there to produce cash or financial stability. And anything that threatens to block that… Or slow down cashflow… Or reduce the certainty of its continued existence… Is an existential threat to me.
Once I’d not only realised this, but was willing to admit it to myself, I could look deeper. And I was horrified to find that this root cause meant there were no easy answers.
When I’d been faced with lots of separate little problems it seemed possible that I could eventually sort things out one fix at a time. But now I could see that — no matter how many of these fixes I made — more and more issues would keep popping up. Because the root dissatisfaction was always going to remain there tainting things, whatever I did to fix individual symptoms.
Unless I could change my mindset I was always going to be unhappy. Here’s why:
It doesn’t seem like focusing purely on the result should be such a bad thing… But it’s catastrophic.
When that outcome focus dominates my thinking it sabotages just about everything. From the actions I take to how I react to events.
So, despite all this downside, the situation has produced at least one silver lining. It’s given me a practical masterclass in just why it’s so important to love the process over the outcome.
(Theory is fine. But these lessons never hit home so hard until I had my painful, tangible experiences staring me right in the face. And refusing to release my gaze)
Here are the biggest negative impacts that I’ve seen from observing and investigating my own behaviour:
Ill-Advised Shortcuts
It leads me to want to take shortcuts. I’m not willing to “take the time it takes so that it takes less time” because I don’t care about the journey — I just want it to be over as soon as possible. So my brain is constantly looking for ways to jump to the end.
Rushing and cutting corners like this is never good. But just a few of the specific things I’ve seen happen include:
- I do a rushed job which either takes much more time to fix later… or means things that should have been successful fail.
- And I make bad decisions in the first place because I’m influenced too much by what can be done quicker
Damaged Motivation
Because I only care about the result then I branding the situation “unfair” and go into victim mode whenever things get tough. This means I’m sulking and playing the victim most of the time.
A while back I’d have rolled up my sleeves and been delighted by the challenge instead. Yes, I wanted to get the outcome eventually, but I had faith in my ability and motivation to do so. And I relished the challenge on the way. It was fun. A chance to explore and play.
Reduced Creativity
Now all my thoughts of playing are elsewhere. I’m doing the work on the clock so that I can get out of there and play once I’m finished.
And money worries are stopping me from playing properly within the business. It’s not that I have no inherent interest and curiosity in what I want to do. But the question of whether I get the financial result I want or not overwhelms everything else — and that knocks all the potential for play out of it.
It’s one thinking it would be fun to create a new type of marketing video. But as soon as my creative brain starts to throw different ideas around, the worry part jumps in. “But what if it doesn’t work? Sure, you can play around with this if you want, Mark. But remember… it’s GOT to work.”
There’s the big issue. As soon as the result matters I get jammed up.
It reduces my creativity as I do things (because creativity is built on play).
And creative work is the lifeblood of the business. Mere craftsmanship following a template can be functional but will ultimately always be mediocre. And I’m playing a game where I need to stand out to be successful.
Less Freedom & Joy
It also slows me down because I’m scared of making mistakes now. (I’d have to go back and do all the work again. And that’s no fun for me now, remember. As opposed to previous situations where I was loving the journey and redoing something was no big deal).
And it definitely stops me from having fun along the way. Makes me do the exact opposite — a task that could be creative and fun is now stressful and something I actively avoid.