Worry.
Worry about everything. Nothing is going to turn out right.
Back this up by accepting no pleasure or comfort from things that go partly right.
Notice all the tiny flaws and hate them. See every little thing that could go wrong. Demand perfection. Accept nothing less.
Never look back and appreciate what you’ve achieved. Any time you make some progress focus on how much farther you’ve got to go. Make a point of being dissatisfied and disappointed with that.
Nothing is ever your fault.
Blame someone else should things go wrong. And on no account take responsibility for fixing the situation — expect it to sort itself out or someone else to do it for you.
But never stoop so low as to ask for help. Other people should just feel when they’re wanted and volunteer their services. Only accept help in a way that allows you to still claim all the credit.
Keep things complicated. Confuse yourself with so much to think about and do that you can’t think straight, make judgements or plan.
And speed up.
Rush around. Ruthlessly remove any opportunities to stop and think. Or to appreciate where you are.
Go to bed way too late. Sacrifice sleep without a second thought.
Get rid of rest and recovery. Believe you can be ‘always on’ and that anything else is weakness. Being tired, cranky, and ineffective just shows you’re doing things right.
Have impossible goals and expect to reach them now — without investing time or resources. Patience is for losers. Demand huge leaps forward immediately and ignore the slow route.
Expect everything to be easy.
Sulk and throw your toys out of the pram at the first sign of difficulty. Whine at anyone who will listen (and others who won’t) about how unfair it all is.
Then give up.
On no account learn from your experiences and try again. You already know everything that’s important.
Stick to ideas and never change your mind. Only losers admit to being wrong or unsure.
Avoid any possibility of mistakes. If you can’t do it perfectly already then it’s not worth doing. And there’s no need to risk looking stupid.
In the event that you do make a mistake — deny it.
Lie through your teeth and relentlessly defend an indefensible position in the face of overwhelming evidence if you have to.
Stick it out for now and kick any consequences or admitting liability well down the road. It’s not like small problems ever become big ones when you ignore them and hope they’ll go away.
Back this up by being full of bravado on the outside. Don’t ever appear uncertain or incapable to anyone else.
But have no faith in yourself on the inside. And stay fixed in that opinion. Feel worthless with no hope of changing.
Stay inside. Ignore the temptation to spend time in beautiful nature.
Refuse all new experiences. Don’t travel, meet new people, or consider new ideas. Stay stuck in a tiny cocoon and defend its barriers at all costs.
But never be satisfied with what you have. Demand expensive things. New ones. All the time.
Fill your life with ‘stuff’ until everything else is crowded out.
Value nothing that’s free. Take no pleasure in simple things.
Refuse to share. The best things are the ones that can’t be shared. Hoard things to yourself. Don’t even use them for yourself — take your pleasure from the fact that you’re denying others access to them.
Show no emotions.
Don’t love. Maybe not even hate. But refuse all bonds. Be disinterested. Ignore people.
Only speak. Don’t waste time or effort listening. No-one else has anything useful to say anyway.
Be inconsistent. Lose people’s trust.
Think purely about yourself. Disregard everyone else. They’re only there to serve you.
This is excellent and pretty convicting in a lot of areas, especially the first paragraph. 🥴
Thank you for writing and sharing this.
You’re welcome, Emma.
I find it fun to try and turn things around and imagine how to get the opposite result from the one you want. But it’s also often surprisingly powerful at uncovering mistakes that ‘should’ be obvious — but which I fall into doing anyway without realising it.